But real life is not like the movies

So, I was aimlessly roaming around Fully Booked in Trinoma. Just checking out the newly-released books. On my hand is Eleanor and Park, when this song played.

If there is a background music in real life, this will be the perfect one on that moment. Girl busily checks shelf by shelf in the book store/library. When suddenly this guy picks the same book that the girl picks, at the same time. BAM! Two hands accidentally touching, one pulled it away, blushed. Eye contact. Smile. The guy gets your name and your number, you get the book. You get the picture right?

But real life is not like the movies. So, I headed to the cashier, handed the book and paid for it. Then, I asked the title of the song. It was My My Love by Josh Radin. ♥

 

 

My My Love, I’ve been without you too long. My My Love, I’ve been running too fast to belong, to anyone. But then you came along. 

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Isabelo Garden: My 23rd Birthday

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Few weeks before I turn 23, I was looking for a place where to celebrate it with my family. Every year, on my birthday, we always dine out since it is more convenient than inviting people over. And this year, I decided to spend it at Isabelo Garden in Marikina. I heard this place quite a few times from my officemates and read about it as one of the best private dining places in the Metro. Of course, curiosity got the best of me. So I booked my reservation for Aug 3, 2014, Sunday before my birthday.

If you’re planning to go to Isabelo, make sure you have a reservation and make sure you have done your research on the directions. It is hidden in the middle of the shoe city and has no signage in the gate (we actually missed the place the first time), so make sure you come in prepared.

Reservations and orders are done thru www.isabelogarden.com

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Not all who asks, gets an answer.

I don’t know if it was the stillness of the night or the craving of my aching body that made me want to know the answers tonight and not on any other coming nights. Or maybe it is the persistent madness inside my chest to complete the piece of an unresolved puzzle.

Why do we always want to know the answers?

1. Because we don’t want to be left hanging.

2. Because we know we deserve an answer.

3. Because after all, a question will not be raised, if an answer is not needed.

But some people are afraid to ask and some people aren’t generous enough to give out answers.

 

So tonight, I resolved that I will no longer seek for an answer. And think that not getting an answer is an answer to itself.

There are things in the past that are better left unsaid, unanswered. And there are things in the future that are worth waiting for.

Sometimes, when you didn’t get an answer, you will make up all the possible answers there are. And sometimes when you didn’t get a closure, you will find it within yourself. There are sentences that don’t end with a period. Sometimes, sentences end with an ellipsis. A promise of a continuation. Something that you don’t force, but something that you will find along the way.

So stop wasting your time trying to get an answer. Believe that it will find you.

What is your greatest fear?

 

When I was young, I was most afraid of the dark and the monsters lurking in it. And when I grew up a little bit, I was most afraid of failing my subjects because my parents will get mad at me. As I grew much older, and my parents are growing older ahead of me, I feared the fact that I can lose them anytime soon.

But growing up, I realized that monsters aren’t real, grades don’t define my future and death is inevitable. I started to dig deeper within myself and assess what really scares me the most and what are the things that I cannot bear to live with. I realized, above everything, I fear regret the most. The feeling that creeps out on you at night that will not allow you to sleep. You are haunted with questions of what if’s and what could have been’s. The feeling of walking into the world with a gaping hole in your chest from missing great opportunities. The feeling of wanting to move forward but you can’t help looking back. And lastly, the feeling of knowing that you haven’t lived your life well and slowly and unconsciously the hour glass is trickling all the remaining sands away and worse, you won’t realize it until it’s too late. Until you have nothing but regrets and wasted time.

Just like other fears, this one can be overcome as well. Maybe as I get older and more mature I will learn to accept things and leave regrets behind. Maybe someday, I will find something so beautiful that will make all the missed opportunities, what if’s and could have been’s make perfect sense. And one day, I will be able to let go of the regrets because I know that whatever I have gone through, all the failures and confusions led me to the thing that I well deserved.

 

xx,

Andrea