Few months ago, when I was still contemplating on whether to join the workshop or not, I checked Facebook, Instagram and some blogs for some signs telling me to push through with it. I want to read the experience of a former participant, I want to know what happens in the workshop, I want to know if it is worth it. But I didn’t get anything, I just had to go with my instincts, and listen to this voice inside my head telling me to “just do it”.
This blog post is for those people who wanted to try acting workshop (or any workshop out there that they’re interested in) but just needed a little push, a little validation that it is worth it.
To you, yes it is worth it.
PRE – PETA
I first stumbled upon PETA’s workshop advertisement last 2012, I went to the interview but I didn’t push through with it. First, my schedule didn’t match the workshop’s schedule. My work schedule was from 11PM to 8AM and the workshop starts at 9AM. Second, I didn’t know the workshop fee was that expensive, (at that time) it was 10,000Php. So, with those 2 reasons I turned down the possibility. But ever since then, I always ask at the back of my mind, “WHAT IF?”.
It was when I turned 24, August of this year, I started evaluating my life. This year, I know I want to do something different, I want to leave my comfort zone, take risks and embrace change. Timely, when I saw PETA’s ad again, I know that this is the right time.
Of course, even if I know that I want this, I still had to think twice, even thrice about it. I still have my schedule to consider and the workshop fee just got more expensive. It now costs P11,000! I didn’t tell my parents nor my sister about it when I paid for it. I didn’t want to hear any objections because I might back out again. Simply, I imagine this workshop as a vacation. I can easily shell out P11,000 if it is an out of town, so why not for a workshop? Thinking about it, vacation and workshop have a lot of similarities: You will meet a lot of people, you will do things you haven’t done before, you will have fun and you will learn. The only difference… an P11,000 worth of vacation lasts only for 3-4 days, but the workshop, it lasts for 3 months (weekends only, though).
Leo’s, they say, love to be on the spotlight. I wouldn’t say that is 100% true in my case. I don’t crave for the spotlight, but I like to be seen, heard and watched. I love to perform. I love to be in front of people and make them laugh. This is innate to me. I remember when I was little, my dad enrolled my sister and I to his company’s workshop. One of our subjects was Theatre Arts. At 7 years old, I have to portray a role of ‘a hungry monster’ for an audition. A HUNGRY MONSTER! I was this little, 7-year old girl expected to act as a monster. Those who will be chosen in the audition will take the lead on the recital at the end of the workshop. To cut things short, I didn’t get the part. But! I still landed a role. I was a tree on the background 🙂 (My sister got casted, though).
After that workshop, I shook away the passion left in me. I told myself that it’s going to be my first and last time to step in a theater stage. That was until I was chosen to play Sisa on our high school play. I didn’t rehearse much, they kept on saying that I should just act crazy and do impromptu’s. So I did what I can, and in the end I even got nominated as best actress. It sparked something in me, it made me believe that maybe I can try acting again. Came freshman college year, I auditioned for the college’s theatre group. Halfway through the audition I backed out. I got hella scared. I kept telling myself that I’m still young and there will still be other opportunities out there and I must prioritize my studies above anything else, one extracurricular activity is enough (I was part of the college’s volleyball varsity at that time). But to be honest, who was I kidding? I was convincing myself that it was okay to turn down an opportunity. I was convincing myself that I did the right thing. But I know I didn’t. I know I should have taken that chance and see where it would take me. And so on my senior year, I signed up for Mediatrix’s Mama Mia play, I realized that before I leave the University I must try something that I really wanted to do. I rehearsed my piece the night before the audition. I was ready, my friends were all supporting me. But… I didn’t show up the following day. I have always wanted to act, but fear takes over me most of the time.
After all these years, after all those missed opportunities and frustrations, I decided to push through with PETA. On that one fateful day in August, I went to their office, signed up and paid for it. Nevermind if I don’t get enough sleep on Saturdays, despite my work ending at 7AM, at workshop classes start at 9AM, I decided to do this. Because sometimes, you gotta listen to that voice inside your head. Don’t let it stay there until you realize all those possibilities already turned into WHAT IF.
As Kurt Vonnegut once said, ”
“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, “It might have been.”
I was at that point where I want to stop asking and thinking of what if’s and what could have been’s. At 24, I realize that I must live the life that I always wanted. There are a lot of opportunities out there, almost all of them are within your reach, all you have to do is to go out and reach them. I got tired of living a safe life, confined within the walls of my comfort zone. I want to go out there, try the things I’ve always wanted, fail if I must, but I know in the end, I will learn. I want to stop restricting myself and start living free. When I realized this, I want to start living as soon as possible. I signed up for this workshop, I started blogging again, I started submitting articles to online magazines, I entertained the thought of teaching and inquired about it, I submitter the requirements for my Master’s degree. These are the things that I always wanted to do but apparently I keep delaying these things and setting them aside as if I have all the time in the world. At this point, I want to try whatever I like. I am at this stage where I really don’t know where I will be 10 years from now but I want to explore the world, see where my talents, skills and attitude will take me. I am at this stage where I should not stay on the same place, I must strive to be anywhere I want to be and anyone I want to become. Life is fun, possibilities are endless, 20’s is a good time for adventure, soul searching and trial and error. PETA workshop is a first step, it doesn’t guarantee that I will become a theater actor, but I can say this is a milestone I have accomplished. I conquered my fear, stepped out of my comfort zone, met new people, did what I wanted to do. Theater may or may not be God’s plan for me in the long run, but the thing is I tried, I experienced it and I had fun. I no longer hear the voice asking ‘what if’, instead I hear, “Wow, so this is it. This is how it feels like!”
So to you, to the people reading this, if you want to do something, no matter how crazy it is, even if you don’t know how or where you’ll end up, I say “just do it“. Your experience and the things you will learn along the way will be enough and it will always be worth it. May it be acting, or cooking or ditching work to travel, if there’s this voice inside you that won’t just shut up, listen to it. Maybe it is your heart talking to you, waiting to be heard. Maybe it is your passion calling out to you, waiting to be entertained.
So, my dear friend, I encourage you to live the life you’ve dreamed of. And cross out those things on your bucketlist! There’s no right time, but now. 🙂